cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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