i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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