I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How's work?
Spinning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have post one night stand depression
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