we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
that is very illegal...i love you.
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