My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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