You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
