he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
