ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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