I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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