What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
