weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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