you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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