People with herpes should wear stickers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
