Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
