The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
