Jerry, you need to find god
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize