Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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