If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
