apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
