sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
