are you still at the devil's house?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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