He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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