Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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