Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
