Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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