So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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