To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
