if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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