If that was your dad, he is hot
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
