bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
