me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
