so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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