Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
