ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sobbing to NWA
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
