I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.