mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake