96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.