He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
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He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.