it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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