I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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