Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
