But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
