we're blogging at a bar
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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