Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
