What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
