I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
