he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
