I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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