I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
