we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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