I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
