you didnt know i had herpes?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
