sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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