It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
