You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize