drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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