Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
