it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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