check it out our google latitudes are spooning
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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