I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
