My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again