She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.