can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed