Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge