I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
